Your so not the Next American IDOL!!

Yes, I demonstrate dangerous driving, but in the sheer moment of boredom, a video camera can become a girls best friend as it aids in fulfilling moments when I need to sing haphazardly with no care in the world. So, press play if you want to hear one of my favorite songs playing in the background,

or press play to hear me wring the pulp out of it.

Either way I promise you nice scenery aside from the squeaky windshield wipers...

Fishbowl - Green Chilis - and Granny Panties

The as per-usual - as usual - and how they are so very usual - are the Flea Markets here on the Rez. Here you can get things from socks - box of tampons/pads - tissue- cheesecake-  frybread -movies -herbs-clothes -shoes- etc for pennies on the dollar (not really more like 3bucks and up).. oooh,  TODAY WAS A BIT DIFFERENT-  Two different vendors selling usual items, interesting a makeup case (check), a paper shredder (check)  WAIT for it -lo and behold I have never ever - ever- ever - ever- ever come across a pile of used thongs and granny panties on two different vendor tables (ummmm, ewww). Okay, let's stop right there, who in their right mind would sell their used unders? Sheesh, c'mon now. There is such a thing as BULK at Walmart, for heavens sake. The vendor(s) quickly threw an article of clothing over the stained pieces of string and elastic upon my look of disgust.  Back to the story. I went to the Flea today to just peruse the isle's and see what I could get. [LOL - like the way I just totally switched the storyline?] So shall we take a looksie.

Okay, the glass bowl on the foam square cut out is for my 6 year old baby - Goldfish. Were in the need of getting some good chi in this house. Next, one cob of steam corn..hahaha that was my snack. 2 kneel down bread bought from my cousin, she makes them just the way I like it crispy on the outside- chewy on the inside, next 3 green chili - hmmm, I really don't know what to do with that. Next, the ziploc bag of hominy corn - mmmmm,, Hominy- mutton stew, but that is being used for thanksgiving. Next, a small jewerly drawstring bag, purrdy.  A crochet lap blanket, I have a tendency to fall asleep on the couch. 2 rolls of fabric - I have an idea of what to use them for, but I'll hoard them for awhile, lets see strawberry shortcake - not for me - peaches for snacks - no chips in this household and last cake pans for christmas - they were only 50 cents for four so I had to take advantage. It was a fun day - I enjoy the K-town Flea - I get to see my relatives at every turn. Then I cruise home with a huge smile on my face because I know that they love me..how do I know? They hug me for a really long time and say "noo'ane shi yazhi".. Now back to the regular scheduled program - Humanities Reaction Paper #1. 

Hey, what's your clan?

Wow, I always knew that this would be an upcoming convo. I literally hid from this guy within the past 3 years trying to avoid this very incident. The “hey, what’s your clan” scenario. As we all know the clan system is a vital step in looking for the “one” that family members will approve of, it insures your children come out well and healthy without abnormalities. Three years ago, my little family and I began hauling out firewood to the local elderly, we spent numerous amounts of time in Mussi Creek, and the local trading post had everything we needed to travel the long road back home. Well, Well, Well –after three years of small talk and more meaningless small talk with the cashiers [he in his own mind - thought for some idiotic reason I was talking directly to him, since he runs to the the counter every time I enter the store], back to the story .. we know the question a girl never wants to hear when they are uninterested is “What’s your clan?” – it’s not the question that bothered me, but the way he said it that made me want to drop kick him to the ground and smack him over the head with the very mop he was swaying back and forth..Sheesh, dude. I’m so not into you. Then to make matters worse he goes in for what he thinks will seal the conversation with an exchange of phone numbers. What THE - who does he think he is Rico Suave?   

LOL – He then proceeds to say, I can guess what your clan is, since you wont tell me. Umm, okay? Creepy!  What is it? [I say in a voice that screams annoyed]. Your half Hopi and Navajo. Okay, this has gotten way too weird. I think you can take advisement from the psychic channel and start up your own I can guess your clan show. Eww.  I’m seen bolting out of there as fast as I can. Now, the problem is - winter is coming up which means many more pitstops at the store. ERRggh!! 

I’m annoyed. LEAVE ME ALONE – PLEASE!!

My new clan is None of your Business!! 

INDEPENDENT

I was thinking this past weekend..that I have this not so cute habit to be dependent on men. It's unsettling, making my stomach turn in 360 Degree angles and heartburn twists. I've jotted down this list in my head comparing all the pros and cons to what I can actually do on my own. The PRO's list was a mere afterthought of slim pickings. The CON's read in BOLD/UNDERLINED/ITALICIZED/80PT FONT.. that I really cannot survive without a man in my life doing everything for me. So, I've decided to make the next few months a learning experience..Doing things for myself. I'm sure to come out alive with plenty of bruises..

I should be the leading actress.

You know how Insomnia can make you do some really funky sh*t or make your mind wander like you’re in some kind of  psychedelic movie tailored just for you, Alfred Hitchcock got pretty imaginative  directing this one. Hmmm, story line? Lets see where we end up? Leading stars?  It is only befitting to have me as the lead actress, of course when dreaming in a lucid idling of insomnia I should be the lead actress- who else well play me better than me, right?

Let’s get on with the show shall we. Well its been exactly 37 minutes since Kate and her 8 said “goodbye” to their show and waved goodbye to their fans. Don’t Judge, I watched the hour show finale – I know – I know!! How did I even manage to get sucked into wasting one precious hour of my time? Let me tell you - I couldn’t help it – I tried and tried to change the channel but, sorry it wasn’t going to happen- instead I listened contently while also watching her try to explain what happened with her and Jon. Her expected televised expression “Divorce is hard, Separation is Hard, Knowing it’s over is hard”.

I never really got who Kate Gosselin was until this evening, sitting before me was a woman like myself dealing with life in her own way.  Interesting enough it didn't matter - my way – her way – there’s no difference, it’s the way we cope with problems that is different. The problems of life are one in the same – if we dare take that challenge to dissect the heck out of it- we are bound to find fragile emotional beings doing the best they can with the hand they are given – almost seems like a game of Blackjack – maybe a game of roulette would be a better analogy – depends on the circumstances maybe. For sure I wouldn’t want to place all my bets on a game of chance – seems a little dodgy to place everything on one hand of luck. 

Is there such a thing as luck or sheer happenstance? Fluke of life? Hmmm, makes for an interesting conversation with peers, maybe this could my sociology discussion post.  Getting back to Kate . 

There are many things that Kate gets scrutinized for but she does have a point that establishes a saving grace moment –she say’s 

"On a good day, I feel relief. On a bad day, I feel failure” 

Definitely.

Finally yawning.

2:26 a.m.

CRAZY COWBOY HITS LIKE A GIRL...

Currently there are maintenance men in my apt – trying to replace a broken stove - 

I made a pot of beans the other day, only to find and hiss in a fit – 

We weren’t having frybread that night! 

 The stove decided it didn’t want to perform its duties – it screamed out loud in a tick, tick, tick, TICK noise - which I translated as  I refuse to be taken advantage of!! 

How dare it competes with me?  I usually am the one refusing to cook and always the first to yell out insane crowd pleasers – 

“ I will no longer cook baked chicken or re-heat Chinese food”  - 

WHAT NEXT? Tossing, turning, and shrugging - I was left to serve my family store bought wheat sandwich bread, u know the one, the ugly ends have some sort of bad voodoo attached to it aka divorce bread or too many children bread. Hmmm, interesting analogy.  I wonder who believes that load of crap?   

The same evening my stove decided to quit expelling gas - I was at my daughters volleyball game, I saw my cousin brother at the other end of the bleachers.  A quick wave constituted a recognition, anywho, this strange feeling came over me, and I could not for the life of me shake the feeling - soon the memories of - him hitting me not once but three times in the back- came rushing back (I wonder if I could use my mad sociology ninja psychosis skills on him, to figure out why he did that? Hmmm, sounds like I’ve got me a guinea pig for my term research paper, woohoo) 

Get back to the story, I sat there the other day, recalling all the details of that day and I thought I owe this dude an apology afterall he is family-  and we were only kids in the fourth grade - there was only a  few tears dribbling down my cheeks.   

WELL - now the minuscule details come settling in I reverted back to being the little fourth grader "I wasn't going down as the class crybaby - I whipped around  with super hero courage and power (it may have came from  watching wonder woman that morning before getting on the bus)… 

okay, back to the older me - Why would  I immediately want  to apologize to him he was the one that hit me? you think? 

Now, wait for it … ahhahah well, my apology was for stomping his ass in front of our classmates immediately after his hits, after all he was the one wearing the tough cowboy boots –[oohh, I’m scared! can u see me sticking out my tongue?] and here I am in kangaroo shoes [which had about 75 cents in the pocket] But, sadly I came to my senses and I‘m not sorry.. I laughed to myself outloud, as I sat there on the bleachers and said “he deserved it”, however, my mom got after me that evening many years ago, for beating him up and making him cry…my response before getting whipped was  "WHATEVER , it isn’t my fault that crazy COWBOY hits like a girl”  hahahha. .. decades later -  I'm over it...wow - what a relief!!!

A REAL WILD CHILD

 JOEY RAMONE AND OF COURSE THE EVER SO AWESOME JOAN JETT..makes for a kill ass rendition of Johnny O'Keefe's original belt & shout out of REAL WILD CHILD..

I thought perhaps I shall take a moment to raise my lighter to one of the women who has inspired me to become the biker - combat boot wearing chick that I am today.

I don't wear leather chaps or studded jackets like Joan, but I believe that my Metal Band Concert Tees, Shredded Levis, and combat boots suffice enough to classify me as a tough chick. 

I love the way, I can scare little old white ladies at trading posts 

" Hey, don't look at me if your going to get scared and run as fast as your little old legs can take you" -  " oops sorry you bumped into that"  - "you can at least pay for your stuff at the counter before heading out the door" - "put your can of pepper spray away" - "that must have hurt (as they trip while looking at me)"

 HAHAHA, not funny but you so have to be there to appreciate it. I do -

I get nothing but sheer happiness, when I strap up or lace up my boots in the AM. Like today - I currently am wearing an outfit- which I know for a fact will scare not only old grannies, but prissy twits in high heeled stilettos - "put that makeup brush down, whatcha going to do - smack me with it?" hahaha. LOL.

.Maybe Joan Jett and  Sinead O'conner weren't' the best role models,  

Could it be that - I  am a closet pris?

Inspired by Paula Deen,  there isn't anything wrong with acting like a little old southern white lady. 

Is there now?  Macaroni and Cheese anyone?