Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Construction paper and glue = Patience

The past two weeks went by so fast. So, let's play catch up shall we. Well, I am a substitute teacher here at the local public school. An emergency certified sub (qualified to teach K-12).  I got my school ID the day before I started, OMG - with no makeup nevertheless. I so need to lose that ID so I can go in and get a new pic. I look like a detention officer..yeah, it's an ewww kind of situation.

My very first experience of subbing was for a First Grade Class, WOW, if you never had the definition of patience served up to you on construction paper and glue prepare to have 17 six year old school you. I clocked out of there at 3:40 a totally different person, it takes guts to go into a classroom of energetic kids and come out alive after 8 hours.

Who needs the magic powers of a crystal ball to tell you about your future, present and past - JUST TALK TO A FIRST GRADER - I was told "don't quit your day job" by a little girl who took one look at me and decided my fate. I stood there with nothing to say - if you know me you know that is a  rarity.  She put me in my place, my sister completed her analyization by asking also "Lene, what is your day job?" ummm, sleeping till noon. That was it, I was not going to be told what I can do and can't do by some six year old fortune teller. Can you hear that crystal ball being thrown against the monkey bars?

(That very night, I came down with the most horrendous flu that I have ever had in years. My immunities were challenged by first grader cooties. I was better by Monday, ready and armed with disinfectant wipes and sanitizing lotion) 

 I went back the following week only to flip a tv cart over (purely an accident) - which sent the ancient antique of a 32 inch  crashing to the floor (not the prediction of my future catching up with me)  I remained cool and calm in front of a classroom of High school students. Their expression is one that I will remember for years to come. AWESOME, CLASSIC, NEAT were the words shouted over the clash of a Sony hitting the floor. 

High Schoolers let me tell you are worst than elementary kids. I wanted so badly to line them up in a straight line and walk them to the restroom and water fountain, of course we would debate over who gets to be line leader. Hahaha, suckers. For the most part, it was interesting.

Junior High, a corrections department for juvenile delinquents disguised as a Junior High Educational Facility.
I was not prepared - I learned quickly and am happy to say I learned to say "No" (hahaha, I should've learned how to say "no" a long time ago, then maybe I would've stayed out of trouble - better late than never), saying "No" with authority and having them sit there like scared chickens was more than I could hope for, I enjoyed every minute of it, hahaha.

The message here people is:
DON'T LISTEN TO A RANDOM FORTUNE TELLER DISGUISED AS A  6 YEAR OLD

THE BEST QUOTE OF THE WEEK AS HEARD FROM A FOURTH GRADER 
"dude, I don't want to be your chick. I'm only in 4th grade"